Tactics
by Rosage
Summary: FE9.  The rest of the mercenaries question Soren's bizarre battle tactics.  Originally written for round 14, 'game mechanics,' of fe-contest on livejournal.  Posted here after the fact for archiving purposes.


As soon as they'd lost sight of the enemy, Boyd collapsed on the ground. Soren stepped over him and pretended not to notice. Ike stepped on him and really didn't notice. Mist stepped on him and made a point of letting him know she'd noticed. Titania stopped in front of him, hands on her hips.

"Boyd, just because we're finally in Gallia doesn't mean you can let your guard down," she chided.

"I'um….so…beeeeat," he moaned into the grass.

She kicked him lightly. "Get up. This is no time to relax…or to complain. Are you a mercenary or aren't you?"

"Yush, yush."

Titania kicked him hard enough to flip him over. "Speak clearly!"

"Ow!" He rubbed his side. "Come on, how do you expect me to not be drained? That battle took forever."

"The battlefield spanned barely more than the length of a bridge," Soren said without bothering to look away from his map. "Even considering the battle, covering that distance hardly took 'forever.'"

"Oh, can it, this is your fault," Boyd muttered.

"I can't be faulted for your lack of stamina."

"My stamina's just fine!"

Mist grinned. "You're a wimp, Boyd!"

"Shut it, Mist! All you had to do was skip across the bridge!"

Soren blocked out the ensuing argument with practiced ease, already forgetting the accusation. His ears perked up when he heard his name.

"If Soren's tactics hadn't been so weird…"

Under other circumstances he would have simply ignored hearing his name from Boyd's mouth, but this statement wasn't going unchallenged.

"How, precisely, were my tactics 'weird?'" He found it a vapid way of describing strategies that had miraculously produced victory from Boyd's inaccurate swings.

"I mean, first off, you didn't give Titania a weapon. I had to pick up her slack!"

Titania glared at him. "_I _was guarding you and taking the vast majority of the hits that came your way."

"I didn't need you to guard me! Besides, how does that even make sense? 'Let's have our most experienced soldier take the front line without arming her?'"

"Well…." Titania paused. She had to admit it hadn't made much sense, but didn't Soren's orders usually have good reasoning? Besides, if she admitted to not being in control of her movements, she'd sound insane, not that she hadn't already looked it by only turning her horse in 90 degree angles.

"Titania has the highest endurance and the strongest armor, making her the most suitable shield for fighters with your dreadful defenses," Soren explained. "If you think you don't need a defender, I can send you alone into the next horde of enemies we come across." He stopped and thought. "No, I won't do that, you're going to be useful. A lot of Daein's soldiers use lances." No one asked what this had to do with why he would want to preserve Boyd's life in particular.

"Well, if she's gonna baby me, at least give her a weapon!" Boyd exclaimed. "It's not like we don't have enough. You gave all of her lances to Rhys, who can't use'em and is gonna be permanently hunched over if he has to keep hauling all that stuff."

They heard heavy huffing and puffing from nearby, followed by a strained "I…can…handle….it….!" Rhys materialized on the path they'd come from, apparently having just caught up. Sure enough, he carried a bundle of weapons in his arms. He swayed before collapsing next to Boyd.

Soren sighed. "Alright, give one of those lances to me. You just got another stave from the Princess in any case, and I'm only carrying one tome."

"You could _give it to Titania _so she can _use it_," Boyd muttered. Soren ignored him.

Oscar, who, though still standing, had to admit to being tired himself, said carefully, "Er, Soren, Titania is the most experienced fighter. Perhaps the battles would go more smoothly if we let her fight? It's currently taking at least three attacks to defeat each enemy."

"That's the point," Soren said.

"Uh, pardon?"

Soren said nothing.

Boyd groaned. "I knew it! You're trying to drag out the battles to kill us all from exhaustion."

"If I was trying to kill you, losing the battles would be a far more efficient method."

"Don't say that with such a straight face! I oughta—"

"Uh, Soren," Ike interrupted, "they kind of have a point." Soren rolled up his map and gave someone his full attention for the first time that day. Though he was not as prone to collapsing dramatically or complaining as Boyd, Ike looked exhausted.

"Ike, perhaps we should rest before continuing?" Soren suggested.

Boyd summoned the energy to slap his own forehead. "Oh, for the love of…NOW he suggests it! Figures. That does it, I'm staying right here…" He rolled over into a fetal position. Titania kicked him again.

"No," Ike said, "There's no need for that. I want to go back and see if we can find my father." Boyd whimpered. "But uh, Soren, not that your strategy didn't work, but perhaps we could…do some things differently."

"Such as?"

Ike took a deep breath. "Not purposely getting people injured just so Rhys can heal them again. Not taking as many hits as possible to finish off an enemy. Not having multiple people attack an enemy long distance before letting the person in front of them attack. And, well…"

"Yes?"

"…It'd be nice if I didn't have to run back and forth finishing off every single enemy myself."

Soren pondered. He doubted anyone would accept his explanation of the red-haired girl named 'Anna' who gave him 'tutorials' in his dreams about how best to lead Ike to victory using buttons inscribed with archaic symbols. Even so, he couldn't quite figure out how to translate the concept of 'experience' into something Ike would understand.

He decided to compromise. "Ike, I'll wrap up our battles more swiftly if, for every unit of time we save, we let future rookies gain battle experience by systematically defeating Boyd."

"Done," Ike said.

Everybody ignored Boyd's cry of argument. Two battles later, bonus experience was invented.


End file.
